My favorite mental preparation tools – Confidence diary

Loeiza is 15 years old. She plays handball in a high-level access structure and her goal is to join a training center to become a professional.

Doubts and counter-performance

It was the manager of her high-level structure who referred her to me, following a first selection camp for the French national team which turned out to be “catastrophic”. According to the coach, “she showed nothing ”. Despite this, he is willing to give her a second and final chance at the next training camp, to be held 15 days later.

Loeiza now has two weeksto fully express herself on the pitch.

When I met her, she was completely defeated and judged her performance at the first course very harshly. ” I was really bad. I was like a beginner. I was completely transparent. I’m so sorry I didn’t take the chance! “

I ask her questions to help her think about what has happened, and little by little things become clear: ” In fact, I was afraid. I was so afraid of making a bad pass or missing my shot that I hid. I didn’t do anything. “

When I ask her if she enjoyed herself during the course, her answer is clear : ” Oh no! In fact, I think I was completely overwhelmed by the workouts from beginning to end! I was totally paralyzed. “She adds:” I know that in 15 days it’s my last chance. But I feel like I’m at rock bottom. I feel like I’m never going to make it, that it’s going to start all over again in exactly the same way! “

We then talk about what she’d like and what she needs for this upcoming course. The key word in what she expresses is “ OSER”.” I absolutely have to build up my self-confidence and dare to show what I can do. It’s the only way to get there. “There, our goal is set.

“Trying rather than succeeding

“Daring ” does not mean “success ”.

What we’re looking for is not for Loeiza to succeed, but for her to take the plunge. It’s that she lifts the block caused by her fear of failing. To do this, I suggest that, while we’re working together, she considers the fact of attempting an action, of taking the initiative, as a victory. In other words, for 15 days we’re going to consider that “to try is to succeed”.

To encourage him, I introduce him to a Michael Jordan quote : “I’ve missed 9,000 shots in my career. I lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I was trusted to take the winning shot and I missed. I’ve failed again and again and again in my life. And that’s why I succeeded.”

This enables him tolook at failure differently, to realize that: failure is normal. Even the greatest champions fail, and not just once in a while. We’re not machines. That’s what the first part of the quote reflects.

The second part is fundamental. What Michael Jordan is saying is that mistakes are useful. It’s an integral part of the learning and improvement process.

A great champion is not someone who succeeds all the time, who never encounters an obstacle, who never falls down. It’s someone who accepts failure, who seeks to overcome or bypass obstacles, who gets back up when he falls. And this is what can give him serenity: he knows he can count on himself, that he has the ability to bounce back. You could say that he transforms failures into experiences that enable him to move forward by seeking solutions, without ever giving up.

Of course, understanding all this intellectually won’t be enough for Loeiza to break free in the field.

The confidence logbook

So I suggested he try out a tool that could be called a “trust log”.

After each training session, she will be able to answer the question “Did I dare to take the plunge?” with a score between 0 and 10 (0 = “I never dared” and 10 = “I seized every opportunity to take the plunge from start to finish”).

I ask him to complete this note by mentioning :

• The two actions she is most satisfied with, however small, are
• What helped her take the plunge

My idea is to get her to develop her ability to spot the “little victories”, because, of course, Loeiza is a champion perfectionist, and she’s gifted when it comes to spotting what she hasn’t done “right”.

I explain to her that when you become aware of a success, it’s like adding a brick to the wall of confidence , and this image speaks to her a lot! But above all, it lets her know that she has the power to change something about her lack of confidence, that it’s not something you’re born with, that you have or don’t have once and for all.

I’d also like her to be able to identify what works best for her when it comes to taking the initiative. By making her curious about how she works, I’m trying to make her an active player, to help her take the reins in her own hands, so she’s no longer subjected to the situation.

Loeiza seems enthusiastic about the experience and tells me she’s going to start as soon as her next training session. At the next appointment, I’m amazed by Loeiza’s commitment and by the results already visible! She kept her logbook every day, and even twice a day, depending on her training load!

She explains that she has rediscovered the pleasure of playing by being more proactive. She asked herself fewer questions like “will it work or not?”, as she was freed from the weight of success in terms of passing accuracy or goals scored. This enabled her to concentrate fully on her game, and she was sometimes surprised herself at certain actions she didn’t think she was capable of.

Thanks to her diary, she has realized that, for the moment, what helps her most is to approach training with the idea of enjoying herself, having fun, and not asking questions.

Being more daring led her to realize that, although there were failures, there were also and above all successes, sometimes unexpected. Experiencing them, then writing them down, enabled her to realize that she was capable of much more than she had imagined, and to start building up a real capital of confidence.

Departure for the national training course is scheduled 3 days after this meeting.

To reinforce what she’s learned and facilitate the transfer to a high-stakes situation, I suggest a session of sophrology in which she visualizes herself during the training course, able to play as she did during the last training sessions. To me, this is a good sign, because before things can become reality, they have to be possible in our heads.

I invite Loeiza to repeat this visualization every evening, and to continue keeping her diary during her internship.

Performance is the order of the day

When I see Loeiza on her return from training, she’s beaming! She happily tells me that she’s been selected for the next course, and that the possibility of selection for the French national team is just around the corner! At last she’s managed to show what she’s capable of. But she tells me that the best part was really how she felt. She played freely : ” I didn’t ask myself any questions! It was incredible, as if I were training here! And I really enjoyed myself, it’s crazy! “

And finally, once again she impresses me by saying: ” For each training session, I set my own objectives, in addition to those proposed to us. As a result, I wasn’t subjected to anything. I knew exactly why I was there. I’m going to continue to do that, even here, in my daily training sessions. “.

Conclusion: trust can evolve, nothing is set in stone!

Loeiza continued her mental preparation work for several months. She has shown incredible seriousness and regularity in her sessions.

Why was this? Because she had a deep desire to become a professional player. She fought for her dream, and learned to know herself and what she was to find her way.

A year later, she went to a training center, then turned professional.

I remember the day the manager called to ask me to accompany Loeiza for the 15 days leading up to the course. Loeiza’s career is proof that, when it comes to confidence, we are not all equal, but that, whatever the starting cards, nothing is ever lost, and the wall of confidence is not immutable: it can be built, strengthened, rebuilt, and still succeed. 😊