Managing performance pressure in male-dominated sports

Performance anxiety

Let’s say I’m trail running with a group of mostly men, who are faster and have more stamina than I do. Tomorrow we have a group outing planned and I can feel the stress rising: ” oh dear, they’re much faster and tougher than me… I’m not going to be able to keep up with the group…, Maybe I’ll slow them down, I can’t tolerate that…. The easiest thing is for me not to go. That’s it, I’m not going. ”

Phew, the pressure’s off again, I’ve handled this performance pressure like a pro. Mmh… really? If avoiding anxiety-provoking situations is an effective way of instantly relieving the performance pressure associated with this group outing, does that mean it’s a good strategy? It depends. Here are 4 questions to ask yourself in order to define the best way to manage performance anxiety.

Question 1 – OBJECTIVE: What is my objective in joining this training group?

What was my goal when I took up this sport or joined this training group? Did I want to discover a new outdoor activity that would allow me to enjoy contact with nature? Did I want to relax? Indulge myself? De-stress? Meet people and make friends? Prepare for competitions? Has my goal changed? If so, what is it today?

There are several reasons why it’s crucial to ask yourself what your goal is on a regular basis . First of all, if you’re not clear about what you want, it’s going to be difficult to set your limits. For example, if I train with a group of competitive, high-performance men, I’m likely to find myself following the group’s lead and trying to outperform… when I may not even want to.

Secondly, our personal goals evolve over time. For example, when I started trail running, it was fun and I wanted to compete. But that’s changed now. Maybe the training group that suited me at one time is no longer the one that suits me today. Finally, being clear about your goal is essential to determining the performance management strategy that’s right for you.

Question 2 – THE REALITY: will this training group enable me to achieve (at least partially) my goal?

The point here is to analyze whether there is a balance between your objective and the reality of the facts. Here are three examples to illustrate different cases.

Example 1

My main aim is to relax and relieve stress. The reality is that I find myself in a situation where I feel sick to my stomach before going to training, I sleep badly, I eat badly, and I push myself so hard that I sometimes hurt myself.

We agree there’s a problem, don’t we? The objective-reality balance is completely unbalanced.

Example 2

My aim is to progress as much as possible in order to compete (primary objective) and ideally to make friends (secondary objective). The reality is that being in a group with men who are mostly better than me stresses me out, but it also boosts me!

I didn’t think I was capable of achieving certain performances and I realize that I am. What’s more, the group is nice and I feel supported. In this case, the objective-reality balance is balanced.

Example 3

Mur goal is to enjoy nature, relax and challenge myself a bit, but without feeling under pressure to reach ambitious standards (primary goal). I’d also like to be able to forge friendly links with the group members (secondary objective). ).

The reality is that I love the trails we do together and the group never puts pressure on me. On the other hand, I feel obliged to push myself much harder than I’d like to because I don’t want to slow the group down. I don’t want to spoil their outing and I don’t want them to think I’m rubbish.

In this case, the balance is partially unbalanced and highlights a self-imposed performance pressure. What does your OBJECTIVE – REALITY balance look like?

Question 3 – OBSTACLES: what’s standing in the way – at least in part – of achieving my goal?

There are generally 2 types of response to this question.

I feel external pressure

From the group/ from the coach/ from certain people. What’s getting in the way of my goal is my difficulty in setting limits with others.

I feel internal pressure

Nobody puts pressure on me, but I put it on myself ! Why? Because I don’t want to… Because I don’t want to… be too bad, be judged, be rejected, etc.

I’m experiencing an internal conflict between what I think others expect of me and what I really want for myself. Let’s rewrite that sentence, because it’s not easy to understand at first, and yet it’s key: I experience an internal conflict between what I think others expect of me and what I really want for myself.

For example, I think others expect me to run faster when I don’t feel like it. So I tend to try to do what others expect me to do, if that’s not my initial goal. A little bird tells me that many of us think like this. This means that what’s getting in the way of achieving my goal is my difficulty in asserting my needs and limits, and my tendency to prioritize those of others. It’s very difficult for me to express what I want and what I don’t want.

Now that we’re clear about our OBJECTIVES, the REALITY and the OBSTACLES that prevent us from achieving our goals, the action plan is usually pretty intuitive.

Question 4 – ACTIONS TO BE TAKEN: what concrete actions can I take to achieve my goal?

Here are 4 strategies that can be deployed depending on the situation you find yourself in. The last 2 strategies are CRUCIAL for managing performance anxiety.

Strategy 1

If your OBJECTIVE – REALITY balance is completely unbalanced, to the point where it is considerably altering your physical health (sleep, diet, risk of injury) and your mental health (anxiety +++, depressive symptoms +++, massive loss of self-confidence), there are no 36 strategies to consider: FLEE !

This situation, training group or other, is simply not for you. You’re not the problem, there’s just an incompatibility between your goal and reality. There’s no point in fighting it. Just move on.

Strategy 2

If , on the other hand, your OBJECTIVE – REALITY balance is balanced, i.e. if you feel stress pushing you to surpass yourself and achieve your goals, don’t change a thing! We often think of stress as something negative, but stress can be positive! Read the last two strategies anyway, as they may still be useful to you.

Strategy 3

Identify and mobilize the resource people in your training group. Resource people are the people who, through their presence, their words, their skills, your shared laughter, make you feel understood, soothed and accepted. There’s nothing more powerful in anxiety management than connecting with these people in stressful moments.

Strategy 4

Define your limits, assert them and stick to them ! It may be harder said than done, but it’s something you can work on every day. Below you’ll find some examples of phrases you can use to assert your limits for yourself and for others.

Want to experience the double kisscool effect? By asserting your limits, you’ll not only improve your self-esteem because it’s a sign that you respect yourself, but others will also respect you more.

Here’s one last important point : just because you’re in tip-top shape and capable of achieving a certain level of performance on day A doesn’t mean you have the energy, motivation or desire to achieve the same level of performance on day B. AND THAT’S OK!

Here are some examples of assertive phrases to finish off this article.