Claire diaries #2 My 2nd marathon

A difficult year

I began my 3 months of training with a hint of doubt, after failing to reach my target at the Boulogne half. I wondered about my ability to keep up the pace, but quickly realized that I had to turn my disappointment at the half into constructive learning for my marathon.

“ You’ve been waiting for this race for 1 year, so no Claire, you’re not going to let a poorly run race get to you “, that’s what I told myself firmly!!! I spent a difficult year intimately obsessed by this acceptance of my cut body that I couldn’t reach. I began the following year mentally exhausted by this never-ending battle that prevents me from looking at myself, that deprives me of the freedom of mind I dream of.

What’s more, I started the year with a new job that cost me a few episodes to deal with once again, when on day 1 you’re asked how to announce your “handicap” to the whole company! How do you destroy all the work you’ve done on me in the space of 60 seconds? I know about these episodes, but I’m tired of living through them.

Fortunately, I had already begun an incredible coaching session with Hélène, whom I took into my strongest intimacy. Thanks to our regular work, Hélène managed to put out the few fires inside me…. My training sessions were punctuated by my therapy with Hélène and the extraordinary sharing with my sweetheart.

A magical second marathon

I approached these pre-marathon weeks with an even stronger rage than last year!!!! I needed to push myself even harder to give my mind fractions of total freedom. I was looking forward to this day, I wasn’t stressed, I was counting the days like a child counts the days before Christmas! I couldn’t wait to put on my sneakers, wear my number and set off on a long run that would give me a breath of fresh air. That’s the magic of running!

I’m in the SAS with my darling, a tear, a last kiss and off I go, shutting myself away in my bubble as I wait impatiently to meet up with all our great supporters of the day. It’s a real thrill to see them on the course, with their incredible support and energy.

I’m off to a faster start than planned, but I trust myself, I know myself, I’ve tamed my stride during my training sessions , so I go for it and soar once again in the happiness that running brings me. I keep telling myself that I’ve trained for this, so there’s no room for anything else. I’m going to pull out all the strength I’ve got to reach my goal.

Charly, my brother, meets me at the 30th kilometer! That’s where it all begins… he tells me to take the power !!! So yes, Charly, I took all the power you gave me, you carried me to the end with fabulous energy. At 35, I see my daughters sending me unique strength. I’m dreading the climb into the Bois de Boulogne, but I’m following in Charly’s footsteps without fail, and my determination to get there will carry me all the way.

My last run to the finish was a magical moment, almost indescribable. I crossed the finish line, turned off my watch and there it was: 3:45! I was overwhelmed with happiness at having succeeded and broke down in tears in Charly’s arms, who whispered in my ear that they were good tears. Yes, they’re tears of joy at having freed my mind and my body for one race.

This joy confirms to me that I must continue to offer myself these sporting moments that are so rich and constructive for me. Thank you to all of you, both present and far away, for being there and sharing these powerful moments with me.

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